


You are in love

by Ivyaugust



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Feelings, It’s a little fluffy but, M/M, and the idea that Abed records monologues and voiceovers for himself to listen to, based off that car commercial of abed and the dean, prepare yourself for feelings, so who’s to say he doesn’t use them to pine for Troy?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:02:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26522617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ivyaugust/pseuds/Ivyaugust
Summary: Abed records voiceovers throughout his relationship with Troy, as a way to cope with what he believes to be an unrequited crush. Five times that Troy almost found out, and the one time that Abed decided to show him.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 14
Kudos: 179





	You are in love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [revelationtour](https://archiveofourown.org/users/revelationtour/gifts).



> Hi hello, I wrote this rather quickly but I’m pretty proud and I think it’s really cute. Thank you Jude and my whole lovely beautiful trobed hive mind family for always helping me with my ideas :3 I love you guys I hope you like this, because it really is all for you.

ONE 

Troy hadn’t been trying to be nosy, but that’s definitely how it came across when Abed got back from class and found Troy in his dorm, holding a CD marked “Troy” in his hand.  
He had only been looking for his phone charger, but was quickly sidetracked when he caught sight of his name. The disc was in a clear plastic cd case with Abed’s name sharpied onto the back. It had been tossed onto the coffee table casually, so Troy hadn’t really been snooping. 

Abed walked in, his face immediately switching to confusion. “Troy?” He tilted his head at him. “What are you doing here?” His eyes fell to the disc in Troy’s hand, and his expression fell into something that Troy had begun to recognize as either anxiety or fear. Same difference. 

Troy struggled for a moment to come up with a lie before remembering that he hadn’t really done anything wrong. Troy was used to lying to his family to avoid getting in trouble for little things, sometimes making it hard to remember that not everyone he knew had the authority to make him go get a switch. 

“I uh, just came to get my phone charger.” Troy’s eyes swept the room again, looking on the surface for the short black cord. “But I found this. What is it?” 

Abed walked over, plucking the CD out of his fingers and tucking it into his messenger bag silently. “It’s nothing really. Just some footage of you. I’ll show you later.” 

Troy shrugged it off. A few days later, he forgot about it completely. 

….

TWO

Study group. Troy could feel Abed’s eyes on him. He tried not to look up, but it was hard. Everytime he did look, Abed’s eyes quickly shifted back to the pages of his textbook, his fingers fidgeting nervously with the cord for the earbuds he wore in his ears. Troy was curious.  
What was he up to? What was he thinking? Why wasn’t he making Troy a part of it? 

Troy wished that Abed would offer to split his earbuds with him. He figured whatever Abed was listening to was much more interesting than Shirley’s story about her weekend visit with Gary. He sighed to himself, and doodled a quick and bubbly “Abed” into his notebook before he caught himself and added the rest of the group’s names underneath it in a list. 

He shifted towards Abed and nudges him with his elbow. Abed looks up, feigning surprise, as if he hadn’t just watched Troy scoot closer from the corner of his eye. Troy ignored it. 

“Hey buddy,” Troy plucked one of the earbuds out of Abed’s ear gently, “Whatcha doin?”  
Troy raised the earbud to put it in his ear, but Abed quickly slammed the pause button on his laptop. 

Abed smiled at Troy. His eyes, and the tension in his shoulders suggested didn’t match though. He was just as difficult to read as ever. “Not much,” Abed reassures. “Just listening to an audiobook.” 

“Can I listen?” Troy internally cringed at the hint of pleading in his own voice. 

Abed frowned a little. “Sure,” he said. “If you like books about .. copyright law..”

Troy felt his lip curl in disgust. He handed the earbud back to Abed disappointedly. Abed’s shoulders relaxed as he took the ear back and unpaused whatever he had been playing before.

… 

THREE

Troy was ecstatic. He and Abed had finally pooled enough money to get their own car! Now they wouldn’t have to walk to class in the wind and snow all winter, or beg Jeff for rides every time they woke up late. Abed didn’t do a lot of driving, so Troy began driving them to class, with the exception of Monday morning. Troy didn’t have class until noon, and he knew Abed wouldn’t dare to wake him before 10:00 AM unprompted. 

He’s half asleep when Abed leaves, and Troy can tell he’s trying not to wake him up, so he ignores the feeling of being watched in favor of keeping his eyes closed. Opening them this early in the morning would feel like being attacked anyway. 

-

Abed arrives home to pick up Troy for their noon class around 11:40. Troy grins widely at him through the window as he walks around the car to relieve Abed from the driver's seat. He knew Abed had skipped breakfast, so he hands him the second poptart from his wrapper as he buckles his seatbelt. Abed takes a bite, looking a little surprised, but also touched. Troy liked that he was one of the only people who could tell what Abed was thinking. It was a learning process, but with time and care he had gotten there. 

He turned the key in the ignition and the engine purrs in response. He smiles. He had never had his own car before, he felt so grown up. The CD player clicked and Abed’s voice came over the speakers, filling the car and Troy’s chest with warmth right away. Abed jumped forward, quickly switching it off. 

Troy’s smile fell. he cocked his head at Abed questioningly, not noticing his mirroring of Abed’s usual body language. Abed noticed. The corner of his mouth quirked up a little, smiling at Troy sheepishly. A smile Troy didn’t get to see very often. It was kinda cute. 

“Why’d you turn it off? You love your driving monologues.” Troy kept his voice low and even, just in case Abed needed it to be quiet. 

Abed just smiled. “I’d just rather talk to you.”  
Troy felt his chest swell and stomach turn. He was so lucky to have found such an amazing best friend. 

...

FOUR

Troy laid in bed with his arm around Britta and Abed’s laptop propped up in front of them. They were watching That 70’s Show, a favorite of Britta’s. She always called it her comfort show. 

Britta mouthed the punchlines in time with the characters, always laughing right on cue. Troy couldn’t focus, but that was fine, he had seen this episode before. He couldn’t stand laugh tracks ever since Abed had pointed out how intolerable they are, and he couldn’t stand how mean Kelso’s friends were to him. Abed would never make fun of him for not understanding something. Abed always offered helpful explanations, and then they would move on, with Troy having learned something new. 

Abed’s laptop dinged, a notification bubble appearing at the top right corner of the screen.  
[Download completed: audio file “Troy”]  
Troy was tempted to click on it, but Britta hadn’t seemed to notice, and he didn’t think snooping through Abed’s laptop was something a good best friend would do when he was being trusted to borrow it. 

Britta noticed Troy’s finger hovering over the trackpad and took his hand into her own. He silently thanked her to himself, knowing that he definitely would’ve looked if she hadn’t brought him back to himself. He couldn’t do that to Abed, it felt wrong. He was sure Abed would tell him about it himself on his own. After all, it did have his name on it. 

...

FIVE

Abed had been following Troy around with his camera for a whole week before he announced the game of hot lava. Troy knew it was because Abed was going to miss him when he left, so he tried not to feel too annoyed with the lens watching his every move. He wished that they could have some time alone, without worrying about making sure they could rewatch every detail, but he had always respected Abed’s process and that wasn’t about to change now. He was just relieved that he was finally getting to spend time with Abed doing something they both loved before he had to leave. 

Abed’s memory card had to be full by now anyway, but every time Troy asked, “Abed what is this for?” Abed’s eyes would shift back to the screen of his camera and Abed would mutter a quiet, “it’s a surprise..”

The night before Troy left, Abed brought him a DVD with the title “For Troy’s Eyes Only” printed neatly with a Sharpie in Abed’s neat handwriting. 

“Promise me you won’t watch it until you’re on the boat?” Abed raised his eyebrows, challenging Troy to protest, but Troy just nodded. 

“Of course buddy, anything you want.”

…

one 

The first night on the boat, Troy settled into his new bed with his portable DVD player in his lap. The bed was cold, stiff and unfamiliar, and it was weird not being able to say goodnight to Abed before tucking himself in. He had been waiting anxiously for LeVar to give him space to watch the DVD for a few hours now. He quickly slid Abed’s DVD into the player, hooked up his headphones and eagerly pressed play. Immediately, he was greeted with Abed’s familiar and comforting tone. 

_“Sometimes when I’m bored, I pretend that I exist within my favorite movies. Ever since I was a kid, television characters have been my best friend. Most days it’s just easier to have conversations with myself than to make anyone listen to me talk for too long. I’ve never had a real friend before. Not since Megan, in kindergarten, but she stopped talking to me after I told the teacher that it was her who had given me a haircut with the craft scissors. Middle and high school were lonely to say the least…”_

The screen displays old shots of Troy in his letterman jacket, one of him flipping off the lens, another of him flexing his biceps for the camera, and so on. Troy resists the urge to cringe, insisting to himself that he needed to watch this. For Abed. 

_“I didn’t think that Greendale would be different. But today, I made a friend. His name is Troy. He’s funny, and strong, and a lot cooler than me. I thought I was connecting with him by playing a joke on him, but Troy says friends don’t mess with each other. Friends.”_

Troy could hear the smile in Abed’s voice at that word, and it elicited a wide smile of his own. “That’s right, Buddy” he wanted to tell Abed. “Best friends. Now, until the end of time.”  
The recording clicks, and Abed’s voice returns, slightly different than before. He sounds dreamy, as if lost in thought. 

_“Troy and I got to sing a romantic duet, which feels a little subversive for what I assume our characters types would be, but I’m surprised to say it worked. I think that Troy and I might have what the professionals call ‘on-screen chemistry,’ though I never knew exactly when or how they could see it. But I think Troy just wants to be friends, and I’m fine with that. I like him a lot. I’ll take what I can get.”_

Troy’s smile felt permanent now. The footage on the screen ran through, and memories from their first year together played through Troy's mind just as quickly.  
Abed’s voice continues. It has become clear now that these are snippets of audio, recorded over time and spliced together for Troy’s listening pleasure.

_“Troy says there’s someone out there for us. I wonder if he realizes that that could be read as a callback to our duet. I wonder if he realizes that there’s only one person out there that I want to spend every Valentine’s Day with.”_

Troy feels the smile fall off his face a little, as he starts to realize what this is. His stomach is turning in knots, but he can’t place quite yet if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Troy studies the footage playing behind the audio. Up close shots of his own hands; drawing comics of their adventures together, biting his fingernails, drumming his pens on the study room table. 

_“Troy and I are moving in together!”_

The sentence itself is so simple, and yet Abed sounds so excited that Troy can no longer suppress the loud sob that he’s been holding in the back of his throat. He quickly covers his mouth, hoping that LeVar hadn’t heard him. The footage changes over to clips of Annie and Troy unpacking Annie’s things, of Troy making dinner for them. Abed turns the camera so that he and Troy are both in frame. They both smile and wave excitedly, gesturing excitedly at their new home. 

_“Troy is so worried about his future. He was worried about having to choose between plumbing and A/C repair, so I told him to choose what makes him happiest. You know what he did? He chose me.”_

Troy can hear the disbelief and satisfaction in Abed’s voice. Videos of Troy in the dreamatorium are playing now, the transition speed picking up slightly as music starts to build quietly behind Abed’s voice. 

_“Troy and I had a fight. He said a lot of mean things, which really hurt, but I know I hurt him too. I wanted more than anything for him to tell me he was sorry and give me a hug, but Troy never hugs me without being asked. Usually I appreciate that. But I needed it today, and I wasn’t really sure how to ask. An unfortunate side effect to having mental issues, I suppose. Was this one of the times that I was supposed to let Troy tell me what to do? I think I messed up.”_

Troy’s eyes welled with tears. Abed’s words rang in his ears. Mental issues. Those words had stuck with Abed. He wished he could eat those words so badly, erase them from existence. He had spent weeks afterwards earning back Abed’s trust and comfortability.

_“I missed Troy. Spending the weekend with Toby felt a bit like cheating, sharing our show with someone else. But I knew he would find me, and he did. He always does.”_

The footage displays Troy and Abed’s hands folded together in Abed’s lap. They used to sit like this a lot. In class, watching tv, walking to school. Holding Abed’s hand was second nature. Seeing Abed’s thumb stroke over the back of his hand, Troy could’ve sworn that for a second he could feel it too. 

_“Troy and Britta broke up. I am not excited. I am not excited. Who am I kidding.”_

Troy chuckles a little at this. The footage playing is now recent, from the past week. Clips of Abed laying next to Troy in his bed, Troy resting his head on Abed’s chest. They cuddled a lot after Troy and Britta broke up. It felt nice to have someone pressed up against him at night, and it just didn’t seem fair that Abed slept alone in a blanket fort, when Troy had a perfectly good bed with room for Abed to slide in any time he wanted. 

Abed’s voice returns one last time, echoing sadly over the speakers of the portable DVD player. 

_“I’m sorry Troy. I don’t want to be crazy, but I am crazy, and I can’t keep this up anymore. I can’t keep this from you anymore. I love you. Always have, always will.”_

The video cuts off abruptly, leaving Troy in stunned silence in the dark. He felt as if he was being told something he had always known, but didn’t know he knew. Why had Abed waited so long to tell him how he felt?

How had it taken him so long to realize he had felt the same way all along?


End file.
